Out of My Comfort Zone

I have just read the first few pages of Steve Waugh's autobiography, 'Out of My Comfort Zone', and I already identify with it so much.
The self-doubts that the great man had when he started, the feeling of loneliness, the questions about do I belong here, whether I am good enough to do this, do I deserve this, bring him to a plane which makes one think that even these great men are human, and just like you and me.
I know now what he must have gone through at that time, when he started playing for his state and country, a new phase in life and new challenges, the apprehensions of going to do something that you have never done before but have always wanted to do, and have idolised people who have done it before. I am going through the same phase now, when I want to start my own venture, and I identify to the book so much. Gives a lot of comfort to know that even great men go through the same feelings just as we lesser mortals do.
Like he said in the book, one success and you are away, the confidence is there and you believe that you belong, and then everything else become easy.
Looking for that first milestone, and hoping that it comes soon.

Being Professional is Hazardous for the Society, We Need Unprofessional Organisations

At last there is some motivation. Some hurdle on the way.
I had earlier applied in my state to be registered as an NGO and there were a few problems that had been coming up from time to time. So, this Saturday, I went to the Registrar's office, to try and convince the officials there that microfinance indeed is a development activity. I cannot believe that with so much of hype around the sector, I still have to convince people about it, that too to the government officials, whose work is to deal with development organisations, day in and day out.
Anyway, the first shock that awaited me (actually, I found it extremely amusing), was that my application had been rejected, on grounds that the organisation I wanted to start was going to be a 'professional' one. Can you beat that? They rejected it because they thought it was going to be professional. They want unprofessional organisations only here. Well......I could have understood had they said commercial, but 'professional'........Though it is very frustrating, I find it quite funny, but I am game for the fight.

P.S. - I tried talking to the 'high' official who had finally rejected my application, and he was downright rude to me. 'I have written whatever I had to say in the letter of rejection that I have given you. I do not have so much time to sit down and discuss this with you. If you have to say something, give my office a written reply to this, then we will see what can be done,' was what he told me. All this while he was sitting leisurely in his office and sipping chai and having sprouted chana from his tiffin box. As for the written reply, his secretary told me it was not worth it as he is never going to even read it, let alone take action. This when I had to juggle my plans so much to be in that place for that one day. When I had waited in his office in this summer heat without a fan for 4 hours to meet him. And this, to sacrifice a settled job to come and do something meaningful for the society. I guess that hardly makes a difference. These people have been given tremendous authority and they are rulers of their fiefdoms who can do anything within that and no one can challenge the, As public servants, they are not even supposed to be as much as polite to the public, who they consider to be unwanted intrusions in their 'busy' lives, busy with coming to office at 11 am and leaving at 5, and in between have endless rounds of tea, paan, gossip, telephone conversations with long lost friends and the like. If they sometimes do move some files, you can be rest assured that either there is a pull from some one in power higher than their own, or the power of the moolah.
So, if you are a professional, move over, they need no change, sorry, things need to move the way they have always done........inculcate some unprofessionalism, they will be happy to oblige you, just do not forget the green bucks.

Should I Burn My Ships

I have always been fascinated with the stories surrounding Alexander the Great. One such story which I read somewhere long back, was quite interesting.
On one of his attacks on an island kingdom (I do not remember the name now), his troops were very tired, bruised and injured from the numerous battles they had fought and were also a little anxious because the island kingdom they were now attacking had a strong army and had never been conquered before by any army. The army of the kingdom was also much larger than Alexander's troops. In short, the odds were highly against Alexander's army to win the battle.
What did Alexander do? Once his troops landed on the island, he ordered his men to burn all the ships that they had come on. So, there was no way for them to go back or to run away if they lost the war or if their position was weak. It meant only one thing. They would either have to win the war or die.
What happened was that Alexander's army fought hard and with everything they had. They knew they had no other option than to win, if they did not they would die. Everytime they were weak, they came back with renewed energy to fight. The thought of having everything at stake and no going back, filled them with strength they had never known before. Very soon, the smaller army of Alexander had conquered the island kingdom's large army.
The story is quite inspirational. It shows how when someone has everything at stake and no options to go back to, they will give their everything and come up victorious. I loved it when I read it.
Today, when I take a new road, I am reminded of this story. There are a lot of challenges on the way and lots of self doubt. So if I put everything at stake, risk everything so that I have no option of going back, will it mean that I will be more hungry and desperate for success? Will it motivate me to keep going when the chips are down and when the going gets too tough to bear? Will it give me no other option than to never give up as I would have nowhere to go back to if I give up the fight and lose the battle?
So, should I put all I have at stake knowingly, as Alexander did, or keep some exit options open? Should I be prudent and not put all my eggs in one basket but save some resources for the time that I may fail? Will that not make failure more acceptable? But not doing it would make it much more risky and life much more unstable.
I do not know what to do. Someone advice. HELP......